FIRST SNOW FALL OF 2016

I HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE (with the same woman three times)

I have fallen in love
With the same woman three times; 
In a day spanning 19 years
Of tearful joys and joyful tears.

I loved her first when she was young, 
Enchanting and vibrant, eternally new.
She was brilliant, fragrant, 
And cool as the morning dew.

I fell in love with her the second time; 
When first she bore her child and mine
Always by my side, the source of my strength, 
Helping to turn the tide.

But there were candles to burn
The world was my concern; 
While our home was her domain, 
And the people were mine
While the children were hers to maintain; 

So it was in those eighteen years and a day, 
Till I was detained; forced in prison to stay.

Suddenly she's our sole support; 
Source of comfort, 
Our wellspring of Hope, 
On her shoulders felt the burden of Life.

I fell in love again, 
With the same woman the third time.
Looming from the battle, 
Her courage will never fade.

Amidst the hardships she has remained, 
Undaunted and unafraid.
She is calm and composed, 
She is God's lovely maid.

*this is a poem made by Benigno Aquino Jr, a Philippine hero for his wife Corazon Coangco-Aquino.

...

Hey guys, as some of you may have notice already, I am a lover of makeup. I recently bought makeup products at Sephora and tried them on for the first time. I will try to use them as often as I could to make a detailed product review but as of now, here's the look I came up with.

*My Marc Jacobs Re(marc)able foundation review here
*My Shaaanxo x BH Cosmetic Palette review here

FACE

Foundation: Tarte Rainforest of the Sea Foundation "light-med beige"

Concealer: Urban Decay Naked Skin "light"

Powder to set my Foundation: Sephora Matte Perfection Powder Foundation "Neutral beige"

Powder to set my Concealer: Sephora Bright Set Pressed Finishing Powder 

Contour: Anastasia Beverly Hills Contour Palette "Med to Tan" 

(the light to med palette was too ashy for my liking"

Bronze: Be a Bombshell Cosmetics " Heat Wave Baked Bronzer"

Highlight: Beauty For Real "Blush + Glo in Hi Beam"

+

City Color Highlight Trio

EYES

Eyeshadows: Shaanxo x BH Cosmetic Eyeshadow Palette

Eyeliner: Lord & Berry Eyeliner in "Dark"

BROWS

Brow: Anastasia Beverly Hills DipBrow Pomade "Light Brown"

Brow Gel: Elizabeth Mott "Queen of the Fill tinted brow gel in med-dark"

LASHES

Too Face "Better Than Sex Mascara"

LIPS

Colourpop Ultra Matte Lip "Creeper"

xoxo

Motherhood Update: MY BABY IS TURNING ONE!

Who would have thought that an OC, anxious person like me will be celebrating her daughter's first birthday? Reminiscing back to when I found out I was pregnant, to giving birth and soon be celebrating Zoe's birthday is mind-blowing.

I'm not gonna lie, I still struggle with Zoe but one thing is for sure, I am the luckiest mother to have her as a child. She is nothing but a sweet angel ( although her level of sass increase as her bday is approaching). She has never gotten sick, never gave me problem with her sleeping routine and never was a stubborn cry baby. It's funny because as ironic as it sound, it's as if I'm growing with her- she made me a kinder, more compassionate person.

At times I get caught up with my anxiety, I would look at Zoe and miraculously will feel relaxed. She would be at her corner with tons of toys, talking to herself, minding her business. Sometimes, she would come crawling towards me while crying and when I lift her up and pat, her crying stops- almost making me feel like a superwoman who can heal all aching wounds.

Zoe lit up my life and so as the people around me. There was one time, my clinical instructor back in college commented on Zoe's photo saying how she likes seeing Zoe's picture because it's making her day brighter.

One of my many fears was becoming a mother. I function with a schedule, I don't like mess and I don't like unpredictable changes, and those are what having a baby is all about. But put it this way, If I made it through, you will, too. A friend told me once that there no one is really ready of motherhood- there's no formula nor rule to follow.

Motherhood is a bittersweet roller-coaster ride. Either enjoy the ride or be scared the whole time.

If you are reading this and struggling with the transition of motherhood, know that it will only get better! But if there's advice I have to tell you, that is to stick to a bedtime routine. When Zoe was 1-3 months, putting her to sleep and keeping her mostly at night was a struggle, I barely get sleep. So one day, I said enough and researched ideas that I included Zoe's routine.

1. Play in the daytime not the nighttime

During daytime, make sure you interact with your child. You also have to make sure that the area is bright with enough noise to stimulate her- be it your voice, children songs, or your favorite tv show your watching on hulu cause you missed it last night, lol. Let her know that daytime is for playtime and allow enough periods of rest. Babies does not know the concept of day and night, so we have to introduce it to them.

2. Don't stimulate playtime at night.

At night, make sure your baby's bedroom is dark or with minimum amount of brightness, soe she can get the concept of light equals play while dark equals sleep. Your baby will wake up asking for milk but it will get less and less if you stick to your routine and as your baby grow. Stay with her in her room until she falls asleep, not in the living room for unnecessary noise can be distracting. Dedication to this routine is key. Your baby is smart, she will eventually know the difference between play and sleep, as the routine progress.

3. Give her bed time bath

This is optional but I find this really helpful, I give her bath every night before she goes to sleep and put her on her PJ. Bath are said to relax and soothe human body thus helping with sleep. Afther bath. I'd give her milk and let her re;ax for a while, then I sing/ hush her to sleep. Giving Zoe bath resulted to longer sleep time.

Before the tips mentioned above, Zoe will wake up 45 mins or an hour after putting her to bed, but after the routine, she sleeps at 7:30-8pm, wakes up at 2am for milk and sleeps again, and starts her day at 7am. By 10 1/2 months to this date, she can sleep the whole night without asking for milk.

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here's a photo of me the night before I gave birth,
I took this around 10pm and
I started having labor at 5am. I gave birth at 10:19pm
click here for my birth story 

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REVIEW: SHAAANXO PALETTE REVIEW with CRISTAL ROSE BEAUTY

Hi guys, today's blog post is very exciting - it is a review on my current fave makeup product, the Shaaanxo x BHCosmetic product and not just that, I am collaborating with my girl, Cristal ( click here for her youtube channel and shaaanxo palette review). She is so pretty and i love her.

Shanon Harris is my favorite youtuber -ever, and so when she did announce her collaboration with BH Cosmetic, I knew I had to grab the deal. I bought mine for 11$ because that time it was on sale. I know, 11 freaking dollars, for 9 pan of eyeshadow and 9 pan of lipstick. I don't know if there is still a sale going on but I'm gonna have the link here so you could purchase the palette after reading my review.

The palette is actually double sided, the other is the eyeshadow, the other one is the lipstick palette. But I'm not gonna be talking about the lipsticks, since I rarely use it but it has great pigmentation. I just prefer liquid lipsticks better. 

Let's talk eyeshadow.

Without any bias, in fairness to this palette, it has high pigmentation and good range of color selection that can range from everyday look to like full glam, night-out look. It has 4 shimmers, 4 matte and 1 duo chrome. Though I personally would like to have more matte than shimmer in the palette, but you know, for the price you pay and the quality of the product you're getting, there is really nothing to complain.

I put numbers on the pan so I could tell you what shades I wore to achieve my makeup of the day, easier. And also, it will be easier for me to explain what is what. 

The shimmers are 2,3,5,7 

The mattes are 1,4, 6, 9.

The duo chrome is 8.

Shaaanxo x BH Cosmetic Eyeshadow Palette

The Shimmers

shimmers: 7,5,3,2
(shaaanxo x bhcosmetic eyeshadow palette)

The pigmentations on these bad boys are crazy, they are also creamy which is amazing! 

The pan # 3 is my favorite. It is like a rose gold shimmer, you can highlight with it, or you can put it on your lid. I also like the pan #2, I use it as a highlight on my cheekbone. The pan # 5 is a beautiful brown shimmer that you can totally use by itself to achieve a natural makeup look. Pan # 7 is like a silver/rose shimmer. I really can't describe the color but it is on a warmer side, so you can totally put this if you want more definition on the outer V of your eye or something.  

The Mattes

top to bottom: 1, 4, 6 , 9
(shaaanxo x bhcosmetics eyeshadow palette)

I'm not the greatest fan of the pigmentation on the mattes. Unlike the shimmer pans, these are powdery but they are as equally beautiful. The pan # 1 has the least pigmentation amongst all the color in my opinion, I use this all over my lid to act as a base, I also use this to highlight my brow. Pan #4 isn't as mustard as it is on the palette or the swatches, this is perfect for transition shades or if mix with pan # 6 can be a crease shade. Can we just talk about pan # 4 and 6 for a moment? You guys, them combine makes the perfect shade, like you can wear these two color and call it a day. Pan #6 is my favorite matte shade, it's like a brick color but warmer but also red but a little cooler. I don't know, but this is what I use all over my eye on the eyelook that you will be seeing later. Pan # 9 is a dark black shade perfect for smokey eye-effects. 

The Duo Chrome

Pan # 8 is a brown/green duo chrome color, I love this color for the lid, but it is almost similar to Urban Decay Lounge Eyeshadow I got from Ipsy couple months ago.

# 8
(shaaanxo x bhcosmetics eyeshadow palette)

Top: # 8
(shaaanxo x bhcosmetics eyeshadow palette)
Bottom
Urban Decay Eyeshadow Lounge

Overall, I really think this palette is a steal. Especially if you are a beginner, this gives you a variety of colors you can play and experiment with, not just that it has 9 amazing lipstick on the other side. If you're travelling, this could be very handy and if you are on a budget like me, this is also very affordable. 

Here's my makeup look using the eyeshadow palette. I made like a heavy all-glam look since Cristal made like a natural, day-to-day wear. 

I started with # 1 as a base then used #6  for my transition shade and # 9 all over my lid. I put #8 on top of 9 to add it an extra uff since 8 is duo chrome. I mixed 9 and 6 for my waterline. I used #3 for the highlights on my inner corner

I hope you guys enjoy this review and I hope this has been helpful. Don't forget to tag me on your Shaaanxo x BHCosmetic Eyeshadow Palette look on instagram ( chimeeeey11) and dont forget to subscribe and comment down below. Love you guys and hope you are all having a wonderful day!

A CUP OF COFFEE

I would be lying if I say that the past days have been easy because truthfully, days went by drastically. Life has a funny way; today it gives you glitter, tomorrow it throws you mud. We just can not predict how life works.

My month went downhill after the first week, it went super sour so fast, I wasn't able to gather my cool and made harsh, wrong and aggressive decisions. I am a very understanding person, it is something that I pride myself. But like any other human, I am limited, I can only take so much. And when i burst, I burst my bubble big time. 

As depressed as I was with what's going with my life, my dad told me something made me rethink my situation, he said "make sure to use what's going in your life right now as an inspiration to be better" and he's right. I can not let this madness fool me, anymore. 

What happened today made me realise that in life, people will you down, dreams can crash, and hopes can be destroyed but despite all that, there will be time that life will turn upside down- in God's perfect timing. 

So today, I shook all the negativity away, grabbed a cup of coffee and told myself, "nothing a cup of coffee won't fix".

REVIEW: HARRY POTTER AND THE CURSED CHILD

If you have been following me on my Snapchat, or Facebook, you know how geeked out I was when my lovely husband surprised me with the Harry Potter book, not once - but twice. It turns out, he pre-ordered the book way back on June and forgot about it. Hahah. So yeah, I have an extra copy- just in case the other gets dirty, haha.

I am a Harry Potter fan and my favorite HP book is the Prisoner of Azkaban, I love the twists and the omg moments. Tell you what, If you love that certain book like I do, then my friend, you need to go to your nearest bookstore and grab HP and the Cursed Child. You'll thank me later.

That said, if you're not a big fan of HP series, or just a so-so lover but is a reader, I say give this one a shot. Though keep in mind that this is a script of a play, not an actual book. And no, this was not written by JK Rowling, but was written by the director of the play, Jack Thorne.  And I guess that's the sad part. most of us, expect something like what JK Rowling would write. But this is a script- OF. A. PLAY.

I personally thought the play was well written but very short-lived, you know. I read the whole book for 5 hours, the moment I finished the book, I almost wanted to throw a tantrum because I did not want it to end. That was it.

I wanted more, I wanted more of everything to be honest but I keep on reminding myself that, this was a play, they can't be as intense as how JK Rowling previous writings. But nevertheless. I love the new series. I am in awe. I am savoring every teeny-tiny bit of it.

Some say the book was more of a fan-fiction, I say it is just what I need. Closures. Action. Friendships. Love. An ending. JK Rowling said on an interview that this is the last of Harry Potter. And I love how Thorne, gave me a certain ending- a happy one.


You don't have to be a Harry Potter geek to understand this series of Harry Potter, if you watched the movie ( and I'm guessing you did, because who haven't?), you will understand every bit of the story. Well, basically the story revolves around Harry Potter, and his son, Albus Severus Potter. Harry's struggle of leaving the past, and Albus trying to change the future.

I will be spilling some beans from here on out, but I will mainly keep the plot a mystery because I wanted you guys to read it instead, Jack Thorne did an impeccable job writing this, it would be a shame if you hear the story from me and not from him- he is such a beautiful story teller.

Things I love about the book:

Albus' s friendship to Scorpious, Draco Malfoy's son.

Yup, you heard it right, Albus is bes tfriend with Scorpious and these two is a perfect match. Unlike his dad, Scorpious was kind, smart and sensitive. He is like the female version of Hermione but kinder.  I mean, If it wasn't for Scorpious love to Albus and their friendship, the world may have been not where we want it to be.  I particularly love how they met, can you guess how? Clue: it involves Shock-o-Choc, Pepper Imps and some Jelly Slugs.

" Scorpious (as smoke comes out of his ear): Thank you for staying for my sweets, Albus

Albus(laughing): Wow"

Jack Thorne, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child 

Draco Malfoy's vulnerability.

What's a Harry Potter without the Malfoys, right? But unlike to what we know he last seven series. Draco was actually a lonely child who wanted nothing but to be good at Quiditch- and to have real friends he can have fun with. I love, love, love how Thorne transformed Draco in this story. With nothing but the memory of his wife, I love how protective Draco has become towards Scorpious. How willing he is to lose it all just to save his son *sighs* Malfoy can love genuinely after-all.

" Harry: Love Blinds. We have both tried to give our sons, not what they needed, but what we needed. We've been busy trying to rewrite our past, we've blighted their future. 

Draco: Which is why you need this. I have been holding on to it, barely resisting using it, even though I would sell my soul for another minute with Astoria 

Harry: Oh Draco, we cant. We can not use it. 

Draco: We have to find them- if it takes centuries, we must find our sons- "

- Jack Thorne,, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child 

Draco being part of the group.

There was a part where Hermoine, as bossy as she is, tried to boss everyone to be alert and stand by their positions to attack the enemy, Draco can't help but feel great that he is now part of the fun. I think that was brilliant, how Thorne finally giving Draco a chance to be happy and to belong. I cried a little when all five of them ( Draco, Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione) became friends.

" Hermione: Positions. Everybody. And remember, we don't come until he's got her in the light- we've one shot on this, we don't want to mess it up. 

Draco: Hermione Granger, I'm being bossed by Hermione Granger. ( She turns towards him. He smiles). And I'm mildly enjoying it. "

Severus Snape was alive!

Scorpious met Severus, and their exchange of conversation is too much to handle. Severus was my favorite Harry Potter character, so it was really exciting for me to see him once again. I love that Thorne made Severus knew that his efforts- his death paid off to something wonderful. He is a hero.

"Snape: Harry Potter is dead. 

Scorpious: Not in my world. He said you were the bravest man he'd ever met. He knew, you see- he knwe your secret- what you did for Dumbledore. And he admired you for it- greatly. And that's why he named his son- my best friend- after you both. Albus Severus Potter" 

Jack Thorne, Harry Potter and The Cursed Child 

Act Four, Scenr Twelve.

I'm not gonna tell you what this chapter is all about, but one thing was for sure, I was sobbing! Take not on this particular scene...you will cry. Or at least I cried because I'm a weakling like that. Lol


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Sorry if this review turn out to be more of a teaser rather than a review, but I just can't help it. My advice is stop whatever you are doing, and grab the book right now. Trust me, it's cheesy in a very good way.

A SWEET SURPRISE!

If there are things that knock my socks off, they are books and kindness. And yesterday, I received both.

Chris, is not much of a sweet guy, I mean he is sweet but in a different way. He's not the type of guy who posts on my fb wall or comments on my posts all the time. Or buys me flowers and gifts every week. Chris's sweetness mostly comes after he comes back at work, I will see m&m's or muffins or bananas on my study table. So thoughtful, right?

But on some other day, Chris goes overboard with his sweetness. Like today.

Chris knew that I have been eyeing the new Harry Potter book since June. And yesterday, while I was loudly obsessing the want to buy the book after its release,  he interrupted with a big grin and handed me the book, giggly.

For a book lover like me, it was kinda romantic.

The whole day, Chris was extremely sweet, he even made lasagna with deep fried zucchini and mushroom, and oh - garlic bread for dinner. And wait for it! He offered to wash dishes! Of course, I didn't let him wash dishes ( he doesn't know how to wash dishes the right way, so I never let him since the day we met). Let's just say he sucks at cleaning, hihi.

I think it's kinda cute that Chris is still trying to impress me - on the most random days, just cause. I've seen couples stop trying after years of being together, thus complaining and feeling unloved happens. Chris isn't the guy you see over social media professing love over heart-shaped flowers, or on midnight clear skies. But he has his own unique (most of the time annoying) way of telling me he loves me. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Zoe trying to out-read me, lol

Tho I wouldn't mind him giving me books every week. Hahaha!

Hope you guys had a great weekend, tell me about it. And did you guys have the new Harry Potter book, too? Awesome! Don't forget to tell me everything about your weekend and tag me on Instagram at chimeeeey11

xoxo

REVIEW: MARC JACOBS BEAUTY RE(MARC)ABLE FOUNDATION & UNDER(COVER) PERFECTING COCONUT PRIMER

When I first saw my favorite Youtuber, Shaaanxo (click here to see her video), I knew I needed them. These bad boys are expensive, they are luxurious for sure. When I first saw the price, I was a little bit turn off, but from what I had researched, and my uncontrollable obsession with foundation, I still gave it a go. And boy, did I make the right decision. 

There's nothing much that I can say about the Under(cover) Perfecting Coconut Primer aside from it is really hydrating. Not my favorite but still a very good product. They say that this helps the longevity of the foundation but I have come to a conclusion that it really doesn't help that much. 

But the primer is very hydrating- really hydrating. 

Is it worth $44? Somewhat. Do I recommend this? Not necessarily. If you already have a hydrating primer, then there's no need. But if you just want to try it or you're a big makeup junkie, willing to spend some money, then go for it. 

Beauty Re(marc)able foundation claims to give you an instant flawless, full coverage effect. And it does. I have lots of redness and scarring and moles, and (some) freckles on my face but they all disappear once I put the foundation on. I start with four dots; one on my chin, right and left cheek and forehead. It is so full coverage that I instantly look Photoshopped. Unlike other full coverage foundation, this doesn't feel tacky and doesn't look cake-y, it dries powder-like.Very lightweight, and very smooth leaving a soft-matte finish.

If you have dry skin, like me, make sure you prep your skin before using this product as it is said to cling to dry patches, though this never happened to me. Hydrating means everything with this product- especially for us dry people. I have been using this product for 1-2 months now and I haven't experienced the product to cling to my pimples and stuff, though I can see it clinging to the sides of my nose just a tiny-tad bit.  Applying moisturizer is a must. 

You can also blend this product with a drop or two of your favorite face primer, facial oil or moisturizer, if you find the product too drying. 

Though it is recommended to use a buffing brush with this product, you may also use a beauty blender- but keep in mind that the beauty blender sheds the product a little bit, thus giving you a medium-somewhat full coverage. 

I'm inlove with Re(marc)able Foundation, and I have been using this nonstop. Is it worth $55 dollars? YES! Would I recommend this? DEFINITELY. Just make sure you do more research/reviews for this is a very expensive product and beauty products react peculiarly. 

Left: Bare Skin.                              Right: With small amount of
                                                                             Re(marc)able Foundation

With Re(marc)able Foundation

I know I look like a ghost but as you can see, it covered almost every scarring, redness  it even out my skin tone while still giving me that soft-matte finish.

Here's my finish look. Hope you guys find this review helpful! Let me know what you think and if you ordered your Re(marc)able foundation, don't forget to tag me on instagram: chimeeeey11

xoxo 

FRUIT OF LABOR

Tomato plant and Jalapeños 

If there was one thing my dad was very particular about, it was his love for gardening. He would give me the task to clean his garden and water his plants 3x a day. My dad has a greenthumb. He would talk to his plants, groom them, and make sure they get enough sunlight. Growing up, I didn't understand my dad's passion with flowers. I will catch him talking and smiling to his plants, I thought he was going cray-cray, lol. 

I, on the other hand, had no time for plants. Back then, I would rather play than water his plants. I planted some flowers before, too, and they all died. " I got no greenthumb" was my always excuse.

When I was cooking one day, I saw this onion in need of soil. It was already beginning to sprout, so I planted it, lo and behold, it grew bigger and bigger. So Chris, decided to buy some seeds, and we decided to make our little garden. Every morning, we dedicate a little bit of our time watering and grooming our plants. 

Lettuce

One day, while watering the plant, I saw our little seeds turn to tiny versions of lettuce, carrots, beets and sunflower. I was so delighted that I begun talking. Just. Like. My. Dad. I chuckled down inside, remembering my old man. Now I know what "it's more than just the flowers" means.

Bell Pepper

"It's more than flowers" means fulfillment. That feeling of accomplishment. That hard-work and dedication is already paying off.

Jalapeños

"It's more than flowers" means dedication. It's making sure you make ample time for something you care about.

Cantaloupe 

 Gardening is Happiness. Gardening is getting excited waking up every morning to see your plants' progress.

Lettuce

I still don't think I have dad's green-thumb for it was Chris who planted the seed ( he wouldn't let me), but I think I have his passion. Not only for plants, but to all living creatures. I love seeing my plants grow and I can't wait to that day where I can finally pick them up and use them for one happy family meal.

BIRTH STORY

Getting ready for OR

Ahhhh, birth story I don't even know where to begin.
Let me start by saying that my whole pregnancy wasn't easy breezy. I didn't have extreme morning sickness, matter of fact, now that i think about it, I never vomited my entire pregnancy. Although I was in and out of the hospital for some reason. And that reason being I bled all through my pregnancy. I had to stop working 2 months prior to my due date because of it and i'm not gonna lie, having 2 months for myself and my husband and prepping the baby room was a blessing.

At 34 weeks I was already contracting and was dilated at 1cm.
At 38 weeks, I was 3cm and 60% effaced. I was already having contractions and was (still) bleeding. So my OB_GYN, which by the way is the sweetest and most caring, and I decided to get my membranes stripped. Stripping of membrane aka membrane sweep is basically a safe medical procedure done by your OB to facilitate labor- HCP will gently separate bag of water from the side of the uterus- and this will stimulate contractions. 4 days after my membrane sweep I had another check up and was basically had the same dilation and effacement.

At 39 weeks, dawn of August 26, I started having contractions. A slow but progressive labor. It would start from my back running through my pelvic area and would last for 3 minutes. The pain was painful but tolerable ( sidenote: i have a very high tolerance of pain).  At 5:30am, I was getting more and more uneasy and uncomfortable so Chris and I decided check in to the hospital. At noon ( 6 hours after), I was checked by my doctor and still 3cm and 70% effaced. The labor was longer and the pain was intolerable. The slow progress and the unmanageable pain led me to a decision to be inducted via AROM aka Artificial Rupture of Membrane and Pitocin.

At 4pm I was 6cm and 80% effaced. And because the pain was intolerable, again mind you I have pain tolerance, I decided to get an epidural - still one of the best decisions I made. I remember getting prepped by my nurse and anesthesiologist for the procedure and Chris was at the other corner freaking out. He hates needles. And when he saw how big the needle was his lips turn pale and his eyes widened. I remember my anesthesiologist making a joke for Chris to look the other way cause he was getting pale. The epidural was uncomfortable but manageable. I am not afraid of needles so it was quite easy for me. I was already is so much labor pain that the process was as easy as breathing out, lol. I remember the anesthesiologist commending me how I didn't even flinch when I was being poked by a huge needle.

At 6pm I was awaken from my nap by my nurse telling me that my baby's heartbeat went to 50bpm.
I remember my first reaction was "Ohhhh Shit" knowing that my baby's heart beat was way beyond below normal (normal FHR 140-160 bpm). I was checked and I was still 6cm dilated, 80% effaced. as health concerns both for me and my baby, my OB-GYN recommended a C-Section, I was flabbergasted. My whole pregnancy was rough but I never entertained the thought of CS.  I remember looking at Chris teary-eyed and he grabbed my hands and kissed my forehead.

I am not new to the Operating Room nor new to the procedure. Matter of fact I have been, side by side with the doctor, doing operations like Cesarean Section scrubbing as a nurse. But it's a different feeling when you are the one in the table, it's frightening- tho i know my OR Team will do me good, there's still that fear of what ifs. I also saw fear on Chris's eyes. We both were scared but I, having have done operations like this before, was more at ease than Chris. I joked about how he should film how they cut my stomach open- his reaction was priceless. 

Laying in the operating table, I remember feeling incredibly helpless and intimidating.
At 10:19pm of August 26, I will never forget, I heard the most amazing, cutest, fulfilling cry of all. It was the cry of my baby girl. I clearly remember, I was looking at the ceiling, my body was numb but my heart was fluttering- there I was, a MOTHER.

Birthing Clips